Tim’s Tale: A little fictional humor and diversion from the daily news cycle
Silversea’s World Cruise 2022 has lasting after-effects. A local news piece reported that several restaurants and bars filed police reports about a mature-aged man with limited mobility having skipped out on his food and beverage bills. Local police departments distributed a sketch of the man who was finally identified by a local restaurateur and prevented from leaving unless he paid his bill.
Police were called when he objected to what he described as barbaric treatment and terrible service. Upon questioning, he vehemently denied running out on any bills. “I haven’t been able to run in decades, look at me,” he told the police. “At my age, does this body look like a runner’s body?” he challenged them. Police agreed he probably waddled out rather than ran out on a check.
Police were curious about his repeated non-payment at all the establishments. “These people,” the man said, turning all red. “They just expect you to walk to a table, never offered to pull out a chair, never placed a napkin in my lap. Then, of all things, they expect me to use the same silverware for my appetizer, main dish, and dessert. There’s something wrong with these people. Where’s their dignity, their sanity? I’m used to a certain level of service. They can’t just treat me like, like, well, everyday people. I’m a member of the Venetian Society.”
That’s when police placed him in the squad car, convinced that the retiree was not all there. When asked where he lived, he told them Cabin 630. When prodded for more information, the man said Whisper. The police officers spoke softly in a whisper. The retiree, shaking his head, simply told police, “You just don’t get it do you.”
Making his one phone call, it wasn’t to his lawyer or family member, he called his travel agent who put him through to Silversea’s new PCR-Syndrome Hotline (Post-Cruise Reality Syndrome), established after several passengers had reported having similar problems.
Local police have added a new profile to identify post-world cruise syndrome victims.
