“Memorial Day: Thoughts of the Past and Present,” by IP attorney and author Timothy Trainer
Was it late 1966 or 1967? I don’t remember the precise year or month. I had just entered my teens. What I do remember is opening a letter from my father. It was during the first of his two combat tours in Vietnam. To this day I remember reading that Sgt. Parker had been killed. Sgt. Parker and my father had been posted to Ft. Knox prior to their respective orders informing them that they were heading to Southeast Asia.
The letter was about the death of a career soldier. It left me thinking about one of Sgt. Parker’s sons, my age. I knew Sgt. Parker’s son from playing pickup baseball games in our Ft. Knox dependent housing neighborhood. I knew that Sgt. Parker had a handful of young kids and after reading that letter all I could think about was what would happen to them now that their father had been killed. It’s something I will never know, but it’s still something that comes to mind occasionally or, perhaps, more often than I care to admit.
As I can still recall reading about Sgt. Parker’s death and my thoughts turning to his kids, there was another reason for that bit of information. It didn’t register right away. I don’t know when it dawned on me that the letter about the death of Sgt. Parker was my father’s way of preparing me in case it happened to him. Thankfully, we never had to endure that kind of loss and feel the pain that comes with such a loss.
While Memorial Day wasn’t declared a national holiday until 1971, its origins date back to the Civil War: www.va.gov. It was originally referred to as Decoration Day because it was the day to decorate the graves of those who died in the Civil War. After World War I, the observance was expanded to remember those who died in all of our wars.
This coming weekend’s holiday is intended for us to take the time to remember those who gave their lives in our wars. While many will simply see this as a three-day weekend marking the beginning of summer, we should also remember the families left to grieve. There are spouses, children, parents, siblings and other family members who feel the pain of those lost in our wars. Along with the moment of remembrance spent to honor those lost, it is also important to remember those living with those losses.
We should also remember that there is that family of brothers and sisters in arms who also feel the loss. This is the other family that is often overlooked. Far too often, they were unable to take the time to grieve the loss when it occurred. The men and women who survived the firefight, the battle, the war in which one of their own is lost are members of a different kind of family. For those who lived and witnessed that last breath, that last moment of life, the toll on them is no less and possibly more than the toll on traditional family members. For many, those images of those moments of loss will never leave them.
Memorial Day is dedicated to remembering those who died fighting in our wars. Hopefully, most will take a moment to remember that during the long weekend. It is also important to remember that we owe much to those who are still living and who have served and suffered the physical and mental scars of serving in harm’s way. We reserve a day to remember those we’ve lost. We should make sure that every day we remember to support and provide what is needed for those who survived.
About The Fortunate Son, by Timothy Trainer
In this book, Tim recounts the parallel lives of an army brat and a group of Vietnam veterans who intersect decades after the war. “The veterans open up to me, the army brat, perhaps in a way they never have with their own families,” explains author Timothy Trainer. “Through my father, Top, their First Sergeant, we have a common link. Over the years, we’ve gotten to know each other. They begin to understand the sacrifices of an army family. But, more importantly, they want me to understand how our family’s sacrifice and my father’s tour of duty in Vietnam with them, in the jungles, gave them confidence to believe they would make it home alive.”
The Fortunate Son is not about a single battle or a single soldier’s tour of duty. You will meet us, learn something about us, and get a glimpse of our lives during the war years. You’ll find out why half a century after that tour of duty ended, we remain bound together. If you’ve ever been in the military or part of a military family, you’ll know that we all are bound together. For those who find the military to be foreign and unknown, our story may help you to understand why it binds so many together.
Fourteen of these soldiers have shared their stories. Their stories describe two life transitions—first from civilian teenagers or young men to combat grunts trying to stay alive in the jungle—and then back to stateside life. What happens between these transitions, as they slog through the jungle day by day paints their portrait of Top, my father. Now, I appreciate why they remain bound together half a century after their tour ended. Their stories are an unexpected gift that bestows new insight to me on my father. So, as you read and “listen” to these soldiers’ stories, both what they say and how they describe Top, you understand why I’ve learned that I am The Fortunate Son.
Click here to watch more videos from The Fortunate Son on TimothyTrainerTV.
About the Author: Tim Trainer is an army brat. He was born into the Army in Japan and was a high school junior when his father retired from the Army. Typical of Army or military brats of the times, he had attended 10 schools by the time of his high school graduation. He did not arrive in the United States until he was past his fifth birthday. After arriving in the United States, the Army life meant living in various parts of the United States, on and off post, depending upon his father’s duty station.
He had three “tours of duty” at Ft. Knox, KY, (some elementary school, some high school, and basic training). Upon his discharge from the Army in July 1975, he left the Army behind permanently. At the time of his discharge, he was twenty-one and half years old but had spent twenty years as either an army brat or on active duty.
After the Army years, he eventually earned a law degree and moved to the Washington, D.C., area in 1987. Since moving to the Washington, D.C., area, he has worked as an attorney in federal government agencies and in the private sector. He has traveled extensively around the world, including several trips to Vietnam.
This work is evidence that his break from the Army was not “permanent.” In the late 1990s, his father, who was reuniting regularly with men he had served with in B2-7, invited him to meet the guys when they met in Washington, D.C. This led to his father’s invitation to attend a summer reunion in 2003. Since 2003, Mr. Trainer has been a regular attendee of the B2-7 reunions in Washington, D.C., and at the summer gatherings at what he calls “Camp Gast.”
Learn more about Tim and his books: TimothyTrainer.com
